Problem Solving!
Part of growing up is learning how to solve problems. Here at school, we are often helping our students face a myriad of challenges. Everything from conquering a new math concept to the frustrations that come with learning to work and play with our peers. At Mabel Rush, we encourage students to try and solve small problems on their own as much as possible. To that end, counselors and teachers teach students to use tools such as Kelso’s Wheel.
If you haven’t heard of the amazing problem solving frog named Kelso, allow me to introduce you. Kelso has a wheel of nine choices that students can use to solve conflicts with peers. We encourage students to try at least two Kelso Choices before going to an adult for help.
Once a student goes to an adult for help, that help can look several different ways, depending on the severity of the problem they are dealing with:
Empathize and congratulate the student for using a Kelso Choice: Sometimes students struggle to recognize they solved a problem on their own because they still have unpleasant feelings about the problem and they will go tell an adult. Once we realize the problem is actually done and solved, we empathize and congratulate them on solving the problem.
Suggest a different Kelso Choice: Other times the student isn’t sure what to do because they are frustrated or the problem is new to them. An adult might listen and coach them in using a strategy on their own.
Problem solving conversations: Students are still learning how to listen to one another and they might need help navigating how to talk through problems with their peers in a respectful way. Sometimes adults will step in and facilitate a conversation between the affected groups to help them figure out how to solve the problem as well as avoid the same problem in the future. Teachers might call in additional support for these conversations because of the time it can take to have a restorative conversation; getting all sides of a situation and then bringing both parties together to solve the problem.
Adults handling the problem: We prefer kids to solve problems on their own, but sometimes adults need to step in for safety or because a problem is just too much or too emotionally charged for students to solve on their own. Sometimes this might involve shutting down a recess game for a period of time, a discussion with the principal, or, occasionally, punitive action.
As school counselor, problem solving is my jam and I am often helping students talk things out, practice how to use different Kelso Choices, and encouraging independence.
All that to say we still miss things! If you are ever concerned about conflicts you hear about happening at school, please reach out! If you aren’t sure if it is a “big deal,” but you still don’t know how to help your kid deal with the feelings around a problem, reach out! Your school counselors are here to help, even if it is just as a sounding board to check your gut. Give us a call, message us on SeeSaw, or shoot us an email. Helping kids is what we are here for!
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